And so what do I do when sleep eludes me? I think. Then think again. Then rethink what I've thought. Repeat (until my counsciousness fades, that is). My brain then goes into overdrive and sleep goes further and further away from my grasp.
And so here I am. Sleepless and getting hungrier by the minute. Thinking about random things. Why is it so easy to get sleepy when you're in class or at work? And if you tell me that my examples are boring activities, shouldn't lying on one's own bed with all the lights off and with no one to talk to be a lot more boring? Bah. Maybe I should start counting sheep.
1 sheep...
2 sheeps...
3 sheeps...
When I count sheeps, I imagine them jumping over my head one at a time. Do you do that too? Wouldn't it be more logical to think of sheeps grazing on green grass at a meadow and then count them? I mean, sheeps wouldn't normally fly over our heads, you know. Gah. I'm getting sidetracked here.
4 sheeps...
5 sheeps...
6 sheeps...
Maybe I should count birds instead. Nah. Too noisy. I end up thinking about those birds happily chirping outside my bedroom window whenever I wake up in Cavite.
7 sheeps...
8 sheeps...
9 sheeps...
And why do I think only of white sheeps? Oh poor black sheeps, neglected by my imagination. :(
10 sheeps...
I really should stop this.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
there's an alien in my room. oh wait, that's me!
Playing around with my new toy and photoshop cs5. I think I kinda look like the main character from the old tv show "The Secret World of Alex Mack" in this edited photo.
Look, ma! I can turn into a lead-like liquid-ish blob just like her! :P
Saturday, July 2, 2011
ambisyosa
I wanna be...
a world traveller.
a landscape photographer.
a bookstore owner.
a professional dubber.
a travel and tours organizer.
a rock band drummer.
a club bartender.
a novel writer.
a multi-language interpreter.
... Oo na. Ako na ang indecisive. :P
a world traveller.
a landscape photographer.
a bookstore owner.
a professional dubber.
a travel and tours organizer.
a rock band drummer.
a club bartender.
a novel writer.
a multi-language interpreter.
... Oo na. Ako na ang indecisive. :P
Sunday, June 26, 2011
dad and the boob tube
Spotted: my dad watching One Tree Hill. I've caught him watching the show quite a few times now so I decided to take a pic.
Haha. I don't even get to watch one tree hill anymore! Maybe I should ask dad about the show's current storyline and character developments. Or ask him about the new characters who I don't even know. I think I stopped watching OTH after the 5th season. Dad probably knows more of the current season's cast than I do! :P
p.s. I think my dad's fave channel is ETC. Even when he channel surfs, he lingers more on etc than on any other channel. :D
Friday, June 24, 2011
orange haven
My phone's current wallpaper is the lower half of my bedroom's bookshelf. Kaya naman ang saya saya ng aking 'inner geek' kapag tinititigan ko ang phone ko. :P I know, I'm such a nerd. Haha. :)
I'm also posting a picture showing a peek of my bedroom. What do you think? Is my wall color a bit too much? I love it, though. It makes me feel chirpy, happy, perky all day long. :)
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
getting back on track
3 months akong nawala. hindi lang sa blog na to. sa social networking sites at pati na rin sa pagpaparamdam sa kahit sino. for 3 months i shut myself away from the world. life got me, big time.
i disappointed a lot of people, and worried a lot more. but trust me, no one could have been more disappointed or worried for me than i myself was at that time. it was a long and brutal period and yes, maybe it was a little on the extreme end of a midlife crisis. (at this point, most people would correct me and say that its a quarterlife crisis since i'm only 25 but i always tell them i'll probably die at 50 anyway. all that nicotine, alcohol and fat intake would never let me live past 60, no exercise at all would considerably decrease my lifespan to way lower than that.)
on the bright side, i am not suicidal. ayoko ngang magbigti, chaka ung may bakas ng lubid sa leeg. ayoko ding uminom ng lason, malamang bubula ang bibig ko, chaka din un. at mas lalong ayokong tumalon galing sa mataas na building. ayokong isipin kung ano magiging itsura ko pag ganun. on top of it all, pano pag hindi ako nagsucceed? eh di pinahiya at pinahirapan ko lang ang sarili ko! (tapos sasabihin kong hindi ako suicidal! haha.:P)
in case you get any ideas, joke lang yang mga methods of suicide na nilista ko. pramis. yan din ang sinasabi ko dati pa kapag may nababalitang nag-suicide eh. so just in case may nagbabasa nito na nagworry bigla, hindi ko talaga gagawin un. promise. there are a lot more things worth living for. besides, al iz well. :) (yes, 3 idiots pun intended)
on a serious note: it was stupid, inconsiderate and immature of me na maglaho na parang bula at bumalik ng ganun ganun na lang. i am well aware of that. some may say that i have very shallow reasons behind the disappearance. i can't even apologize out loud, not to the faces of those people i've worried. but i really do feel bad about doing that. and i am truly sorry about the things i may have made you guys think or feel. but my emotions were too strong and could not be reasoned with then. reason tried to fight those emotions but was unsuccessful. my emotions beat my reasons black and blue.
sorry, tumagal ng ganun. i didn't really expect or want to keep myself in seclusion for that period of time. i just couldn't bring myself to go and see other people when i was a wreck. my pride just kept me from showing such a vulnerable side of me to anyone else. i wanted to go back once i've settled all the turmoils that were boiling deep inside of me.
this is basically an apology post. for an apology i can not bring myself to blurt out. just something to release my thoughts out there. just something to say that i'm ok... that i'm past that crucial point in my life... that i will try my hardest to never worry anyone else again... that i'm pushing forward... that i'm getting back on track. hopefully, there will no longer be any falling off the wagon for this one. :)
i disappointed a lot of people, and worried a lot more. but trust me, no one could have been more disappointed or worried for me than i myself was at that time. it was a long and brutal period and yes, maybe it was a little on the extreme end of a midlife crisis. (at this point, most people would correct me and say that its a quarterlife crisis since i'm only 25 but i always tell them i'll probably die at 50 anyway. all that nicotine, alcohol and fat intake would never let me live past 60, no exercise at all would considerably decrease my lifespan to way lower than that.)
on the bright side, i am not suicidal. ayoko ngang magbigti, chaka ung may bakas ng lubid sa leeg. ayoko ding uminom ng lason, malamang bubula ang bibig ko, chaka din un. at mas lalong ayokong tumalon galing sa mataas na building. ayokong isipin kung ano magiging itsura ko pag ganun. on top of it all, pano pag hindi ako nagsucceed? eh di pinahiya at pinahirapan ko lang ang sarili ko! (tapos sasabihin kong hindi ako suicidal! haha.:P)
in case you get any ideas, joke lang yang mga methods of suicide na nilista ko. pramis. yan din ang sinasabi ko dati pa kapag may nababalitang nag-suicide eh. so just in case may nagbabasa nito na nagworry bigla, hindi ko talaga gagawin un. promise. there are a lot more things worth living for. besides, al iz well. :) (yes, 3 idiots pun intended)
on a serious note: it was stupid, inconsiderate and immature of me na maglaho na parang bula at bumalik ng ganun ganun na lang. i am well aware of that. some may say that i have very shallow reasons behind the disappearance. i can't even apologize out loud, not to the faces of those people i've worried. but i really do feel bad about doing that. and i am truly sorry about the things i may have made you guys think or feel. but my emotions were too strong and could not be reasoned with then. reason tried to fight those emotions but was unsuccessful. my emotions beat my reasons black and blue.
sorry, tumagal ng ganun. i didn't really expect or want to keep myself in seclusion for that period of time. i just couldn't bring myself to go and see other people when i was a wreck. my pride just kept me from showing such a vulnerable side of me to anyone else. i wanted to go back once i've settled all the turmoils that were boiling deep inside of me.
this is basically an apology post. for an apology i can not bring myself to blurt out. just something to release my thoughts out there. just something to say that i'm ok... that i'm past that crucial point in my life... that i will try my hardest to never worry anyone else again... that i'm pushing forward... that i'm getting back on track. hopefully, there will no longer be any falling off the wagon for this one. :)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
separation anxiety
as i was about to go to sleep, i checked my phone and realized that today is the 5th of february. i got really sad, then i broke down and cried. 4 days from now, one of my closest friends will leave the country to try her luck out in another country. i get really emotional when someone i've gotten really close to leaves me behind.
and although we've already agreed upon me visiting her after a few months, it still isn't the same. she used to be just a text away. she used to go to my place to cheer me up when i'm sad. she used to be the first person i'd call whenever life gets to me. i wish i could make her stay here, just for my selfish reasons.
but to be selfish is a crime. so all i can do is wish her well on her new endeavor. and remind myself that in this era that we live in, there will always be ways to communicate. and it'll be just as if she's here.
and so, dear friend, bon voyage. someday, we'll see each other again..
and although we've already agreed upon me visiting her after a few months, it still isn't the same. she used to be just a text away. she used to go to my place to cheer me up when i'm sad. she used to be the first person i'd call whenever life gets to me. i wish i could make her stay here, just for my selfish reasons.
but to be selfish is a crime. so all i can do is wish her well on her new endeavor. and remind myself that in this era that we live in, there will always be ways to communicate. and it'll be just as if she's here.
and so, dear friend, bon voyage. someday, we'll see each other again..
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